Where did life go?

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Sitting here drinking my coffee I think to myself, “it is cold. I have much to do and do not want to get up”…..HAHA….If life was only that way. I have a 3-year-old who is home when the others are at school. He is a demanding boy let me tell ya. I have a hard time even sitting next to him typing this blog.

Sometimes, I wonder where life went? I love being a mother, but this is not the life I wanted. Do I cherish it? YES, fully, but I just do not remember where I gave up on myself, on my dreams, my goals.

I am sure many Mothers go through this, especially stay home moms. I always wanted a career, some where to go and do during the day hours.

I have never wanted to get married, I love being alone and living a simple life, where I am in complete control. But I find, I am not in control of my life at all. It is all about kids and husband. I do not make a decision without asking him first, I feel trapped at times. Some where along the line I have lost my self…

Kids, bullies….Where is the line?

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My son, 7 years old in 2nd grade, seems to be having issues. He has been accused of hitting, kicking and fighting with other kids. My son has always been a loving caring child. Yes, at times, he does get angry and loses his temper. But the most recent indecent I am concerned about includes a little boy at school.


Here is the story I got from the principal of the school on Monday December 5th, 2011:


Friday December 2nd, 2011, Brandon ran into Brimli. Brimli then went to ask Brandon why he ran into him. Brandon did not answer, so Brimli punched him in the face.

The principal told me this happened after school.

The boy was so bruised up, black eye, swollen cheek bone, that he was unable to eat dinner Friday NIGHT. So his parents took him to the ER.

Brimli, admitted told the principal, yes, I hit him because he would not answer me.

Now, Monday during Lunch Brimli has another incident. Thomas took Brimli’s toy away from him and Brimli hit this boy.


So I told the principal detention and in school suspension (ISS) was acceptable. As well, I while in ISS, I wanted Brimli to write a formal letter of apology to Brandon and his family. I am thinking, “My god. Brimli cannot hit so hard that he could do this kind of damage. Nor, can I believe Brimli hit this kid in the face”


When Brimli got home Monday, I asked him what took place. Here is HIS story:


“Friday, during MORNIG RECESS, Brandon ran into him. When Brimli went to ask him why, he would not answer. Brimli asked him a few times and the boy still wouldn’t answer him. So he punched him in the arm. Then Brandon and two more boys came and starting spitting at him and kicking him in the legs. So Brimli hit one of them again to make them leave him alone.” Brimli told me that these boys have been picking on him at school. He stated “I have to defend myself; I cannot take on three boys. I could not yell for help because the teacher was too far away. And if I do not fight back, they won’t stop because they will think I am a sissy”

I asked Brimli why he did not tell the teacher after recess was over. He said he did not want to be a “rat”.

Then I asked him about the incident that took place during Lunch and he told me; “Thomas was laughing at me and kicking at me, all I did was push him away from me.”


Now, what does not make since to me, is why the Principal told me it happened after school on Friday, not during. As well, why was their not ENOUGH supervision on the playground?

I am not saying my son DID not do this to Brandon, but really? A 7 year old boy, capable of that kind of power in a punch? It does not make since. And WHY did Brandon’s parents wait until Monday to call the school.

Also, if Brimli hit him so hard that he left marks, why did no teacher see this during school Friday?


So, I called the principal at 5:30 pm, Monday evening, he was still there (which supports me asking why Brandon’s parents waited until Monday to tell the school). I told him what Brimli told me about both incidents. And why. The Principal said the Brandon is a very quiet and shy boy and barley talks at all…(Gets me thinking) and that he could not see Brandon picking on anyone, but can see Brandon getting bullied. Then he stated that he could see Thomas bulling Brimli in the cafeteria because Thomas is “that kind of kid”. I told the principal, I cannot see Brimli having enough “punch” to hit Brandon that badly, however, the point is, Brimli did admit to hitting him. So I still will allow the ISS and after school Detention. But I want more supervision on the playground to “watch” Brimli and see where this is coming from. Weather Brimli is bulling or being bullied or both. The principal chuckled and said “We will do our best; we only have about 150 students out there at the same time”.


Excuse me, but is it NOT the schools duty to make sure that kids are safe? I understand that it is the Parents responsibility to raise their children not to Bully kids. If my son is being bullied by other kids, and now, fighting with ones who do not bully him, is it possible that he is really doing this to “Make the other kids leave him alone. So they will not think he is a “sissy”?”


Where is the line? How do we, AS PARENTS, know how to handle this situation? How do we get the “truth”. None of this story really makes any sense to me. Not the Principal’s or Brimli’s. How do we know where the line is? My son is crying, thinking I do not believe him. He did not want to go to school today. He is a mess over this situation and I am lost as what to do. If I do not punish him in some way at home, he will think I condone this behavior. But how do I make him see that I am punishing him because he did hit this kid? Brimli says he was defending himself.




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